If we give into the pain, if we give into the sorrow, if we give into the negativity, then what?
Our chances of survival are slim. Our goals are squandered. Our will to go on altogether withers and dies.
Madness is an occurrence of our minds which allows our beings to experience chaos. That very same chaos which created this universe has the power to take over our beings once again. Giving ourselves into the chaos makes us no less than the one-celled organisms we once were. It removes our significance in this universe by reverting our beings right back to the primordial “OM” stage.
Madness is a stage of consciousness which basically causes us to restart. We are forced to renew our spiritual energies once again. We are constrained by the laws of time and space once again. In this madness, we can no longer see what is important in this world. We are focused on ourselves at this point.
This madness has overtaken me almost completely. I wander around, wondering what I should do. The choices I make these days are very simple. I take it one moment at a time now. Because I know that this madness has consumed my core. I am suddenly not enthused by this world. I am detached from my being. My mind is wandering to different realms.
And my connection to India is so strong that sometimes I close my eyes and project myself into that plain of consciousness.
I remove myself from this realm and my consciousness roams through time and space trying to regain what I lost. And it hurts to open my eyes. So I choose not to sleep. I choose not to see what I want to see. Because if I do, I push myself into the madness once more.
Oh, how I yearn. How I wish things were different. But I also forget why they are this way. I forget why I am working so hard. To me, life is already futile. The madness is talking now. Life has become useless. I am lost without the Singing Hills. I am lost without the pines. I am just lost. Being lost is a good thing isn’t it? Does it not mean that we can now find a better path? Maybe we may stumble on a better way.
But in this madness, hope seems to have gone.
I don’t have anything motivational to tell you, dear dreamers.
I am searching for it myself now.
Helplessness is something I never thought I’d feel. I used to fight against the tide. Now I don’t even wish to swim.
Alice in Wanderland